A Decade

Speaking about relationship, I've never been a fan of it. There is this one history of mine which makes me thinking like Summer Finn from 500 Days of Summer, I am always afraid when it comes to interpersonal relationship. I am afraid of the future of the relationship, will it lasts long? I am afraid of the state of mind of this other person, will they change someday? I am afraid of their reliability on trust issues, it is hard for me to fully trust on another person. 

So, I always think thousand before speaking about the detail of my relationship with my man. I try to make most of our story private, because I do not have the confidence that everything I hold dear now will always be okay and able to last long. Initially, I did not even dare to say how long exactly we have been together...

But how come with such condition we are able to stay together this whole decade?

Love? 

Does it really exist?

I may be afraid of the form of relationship. But maybe I do not afraid of love. I never hesitate to care about someone I hold dear. I never hesitate to do everything in my power to support them. This time, I would like to take a moment to overcome my fear, I will try to share a little detail of us, to put a little confidence in this relationship, that it will be able to last long. 

10 years, have I ain't bored? Never once, clearly we are in a long distance relationship, starting the 8th year on long distance now so we even rarely meet! But mostly, because we work our best in this relationship, I suppose. Love is a verb so there has to be an effort. In everything. Learn one or two things every now and then, share a new perspective, is a common thing for both of us. A little example; I am a dentist yet I love to read business or management matters once or twice thus I can understand a little about his world. He works in corporation but once or twice he asked me about the medical/health issues. We are willing to learn each other and always be the best version of ourselves.

Have we never fight? We have. I do not know, maybe it's just because of the way our minds work, but when we fight, mostly both of us never been so attached to each of our emotions. We talked everything through, calculate the cause of the problem, the problem itself, and how to solve it. We fought a good fight and win it. Mostly, we simplify matters so it is always less drama. 

What makes him stand out in my eyes? First, he is open minded I feel like I could share even my most peculiar ideas and dreams with him. Second, he is always willing to be better and to not stay in the comfort zone. What is the point of a relationship if it is only for settling down? It has to be able to empower each other, no? For I heard that two is stronger than one. Third, I am complicated, really, I am stubborn and opinionated, I have my insecurities, I have trust issues, and I actually am not a family person, but he could bring his part and balance me on those matters. And a lot more...

How can we bear the long distance for 7 years? Independency. I always try not to depend on anyone other than my self and god. For me, he does not always have to be present, even at my important moment such as graduation or birthday or even when I have to be hospitalized, if it really is not possible. I do not like to get anxious over small things like that, I am okay if he is unpresent for I can spend the time with more people; friends and families. The art of letting go. I love it seeing him succeed, so if in order to get that, he has to travel thousand miles then go for it. That is the form of my love and support for him, not to tie him close to me, but to let him go, explore the world and its possibilities, and be the best version of himself. And I feel like he does the same for me too, we do not tie each other, both of us could really freely breathe. 

What is the hardest thing about the long distance? For me, the longing, of course!

Last August 17th was our 10th year together. A decade it is. And no matter how sometimes I still do not have the confidence, I really wish us another decades to come :)